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Welcome back to the Beyond Book Club. I'm your host, Hemingway. |
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And I'm Ayn Rand, your other host.
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The lesser host. The one that I do not like. Not much. No. |
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Shouldn't you be drinking, you lush? |
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Today's book is High Fidelity, by Nick Hornby. Let us discuss this. |
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It sucked. |
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What? Woman, justify yourself. |
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Sentimental wishful thinking crap. |
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Top five reasons you didn't like it! |
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Oh, please, that whole concept just reeked of forced wistfulness for a way to get the reader to laugh. |
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Engaging the reader is a bad thing, Harpy? |
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Pandering. Pandering is bad. |
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It wasn't pandering. Hornby found a way to talk to the reader. To relate. He also found a way to do so that used the character's lifestyle and personal in-jokes with his friends. That, bitch, is writing. |
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That, you old useless shell of a man, is pandering. He should have simply had the character, shown us why we should respect him and then why he should respect himself. But instead we were shown a weakling who associated with other weaklings and enjoyed it. |
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It took a man to bare his soul the way Rob did. A man. A brave man. One that was a bit girly, I admit. Still. Man. |
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Oh, please. |
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Admit it, Harpy, you simply wish a man had ever cared that much for you. |
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To do what? Pine, show his weakness and make stupid mix-tapes? |
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Top five ways to violate you with a shotgun! Go! |
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W-what? |
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All right then. So long as I am being clear here. This was a masterful novel. Even if it was a bit girly. Sometimes you need a bit of girl. Not much. Never much. But a palette cleanser. Yes. |
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Are you trying to say you liked it but hiding the fact that you liked it? |
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Shut up. |
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Or what, exactly? |
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Top five things to shove in your mouth to shut you the fuck up! Go! |
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That joke was old before you used it the first time, you weakling. |
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I'll show you weak! |
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Want to borrow a gun to do it? |
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That was low. I chose a man's way out. My own time. My own place. |
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Whine bitch moan. And whine again, I am quite sure. You, sir, have no concept of class, or self-respect. |
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And you need to be fucked. |
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Excuse me! |
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Cobwebs down there by now, stuck-up bitch. Now, listen to me. This book was well worth my time to read. Nothing more need be said. |
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You listen here you... |
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Nothing! More! Need! Be! Said! |
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I... |
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Top five ways I am about to slice you apart with a knife! Go! |
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You... |
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This has been the Beyond Book Club. I'm Hemingway. That's Rand. Fuck off while I murder this bitch. Go now. Witness not this act. |
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I'll kill you. |
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We shall see, Harpy. |
