The Subjects: The Legend of Zelda (1989) and Captain N: The Game Master (1989)

Plot in Two Sentences: Cartoons that grew as adaptations from several games for the Nintendo Entertainment System, which was enjoying tremendous popularity at the time. That didn't even take two sentences.

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Here we deal with two entirely different, but closely related, animals. These shows aired during roughly the same period, but one -- Captain N -- was created for Saturday morning slots, while the other -- The Legend of Zelda -- aired as part of a weekly series called The Super Mario Brothers Super Show!. The Zelda cartoons aired only on Friday, whereas the rest of the week aired the animated exploits of Mario and his friends. I can't really comment on the Mario aspect here, because I openly admit to only watching on Fridays to get my Zelda fix. At the age of 12, I felt that I was above the Mario stuff. It was clearly not sophisticated enough for my proto-teenage tastes.

Both shows were designed as marketing vehicles for the Nintendo product line, I'm sure, but they succeeded in being entertaining as well. And really, neither one ever felt like it was pushing a product on you; it was more a raising of awareness and interest in the different games. There wasn't an obvious sales aspect except for one point in Captain N that I'll address a bit later.

My Nintendo was the first thing that I ever scrimped and saved my money for, so it's fair to say that I was heavily invested in it -- not just from that financial aspect, but also emotionally. I had serious enthusiasm for playing the games, either bought or borrowed from friends, and I was quite taken with some of the stories that these games told. The Legend of Zelda was one of these, and even to this day it remains my favorite of all video game franchises. So naturally, I constantly fell over myself to make sure I watched the show.

The Zelda story formula is pretty easy to figure out. The main characters are the hero, Link, the "damsel in distress" (although she's tough and pretty competent in her own right) Princess Zelda, and the big bad guy of the series - the evil sorcerer Ganon. As the bad guy, it was Ganon's job to try and take over the kingdom of Hyrule (just as it was in the game), by use of the Triforce of Power. Princess Zelda's position is to defend Hyrule against Ganon by using the Triforce of Wisdom. It's Link's lot in life to be the front line of defense against Ganon and to protect both Zelda and the Triforce from the same servants of evil that you fight in the video game.

I had watched about six episodes of the series in modern times before the relationship between Link and Zelda really started to bother me. Set up as a situation of unrequited love -- although it's maybe more a case of unrequited lust -- Link is full of bravado while all the same being a really competent whiner. While he always comes through though, in the process he manages to irritate the crap out of Zelda, who's generally all business and doesn't really care for Link's apparent laziness or the perception that he's screwing around on the job. This is problematic in that Link really wants to impress Zelda and is constantly asking for a kiss from her. Can't really blame him there -- animated Zelda was hot (as far as cartoon women with pointy ears go). The resulting interaction of the two characters is comprised mostly of bickering until they have to work together and then come to appreciate each other -- until Link asks for a kiss and the whole damn thing falls apart again.

It eventually occurred to me that watching Zelda was just like watching Moonlighting, which had been on the air for four years at that point. The voice acting of Cynthia Preston as Princess Zelda even hearkens to the same kind of tone that Cybill Shepherd used. The only thing missing from the action between Link and Zelda was the slamming of office doors, which leads me to believe that during early writers meetings, a conversation like this took place:

Head Writer: Okay, let's buckle down and figure out the general characterizations of our hero and heroine -- where do we go from the game?

Lackey #1: Well, we don't want to end up with something shallow and prototypical…

Head Writer: Okay, now tell me something that's NOT obvious.

Lackey #2: Jesus, will you two keep it down while I watch this? Moonlighting is just about over and it's a good one.

Head Writer and Lackey #1: Hmmmmmm.

All the same, as a series, Zelda has aged pretty well, something I attribute to the plot lines and characters involved sticking pretty well to the those of the game.

Captain N, as I said before, is a different kind of animal. Here we have a cast comprised of characters from several different games -- Simon Belmont from "Castlevania," Mega Man from his franchise, and Kid Icarus from, well, "Kid Icarus," along with Princess Lana of Videoland and the hero of the series, teenager Kevin Keenan -- who is magically brought from our world to save Videoland from the baddies. The baddies du jour are a rogue's gallery assembled in the same manner -- Mother Brain from "Metroid," King Hippo from "Punch Out," Donkey Kong, as well as the villains belonging to Mega Man and Kid Icarus.

The Captain N series really skews more juvenile and cartoonish (not to mention grating when watching it as an adult) than does Zelda. Highlights of this include Kid Icarus's habit of adding "-icus" to the end of his sentences ("My character is annoying-icus!"), King Hippo and Eggplant Wizard -- acting as Mother Brain's henchmen -- take the art of being bumbling comedy relief to terrible levels, and the plot lines are pretty thinly-veiled efforts to maximize the exposure of as many games as possible, which is why you see things like the world of "Tetris" getting its own episode. There are other bothersome things to mention about the series, like the fact that the cartoon Mega Man is green. (Realizing that not everyone knows the background here, but Mega Man was, is, and ever shall be, BLUE. The green thing is just right out.) Mother Brain is voiced by the same guy who does the acting for the plant from Little Shop of Horrors, which gave me a nice little moment when I made the connection, but overall it's just so… silly. Intertwined in all this are a Princess who looks like she wandered off the set of a John Hughes film and a hero that acts like he's auditioning for one. You're all set for a cartoon experience that starts out as being somewhat novel but gets tepid pretty quickly. Twenty-two minute episodes feel like days.

The most notable bit of insanity occurs at the outset of the third season, when the show completely jumps the shark AND sells out all in one fell swoop. How was this amazing feat accomplished? Oh, they added a constant character to the cast of heroes -- Game Boy. Yes indeed! Just in time to help Nintendo market a brand new portable game device, the character of Game Boy arrives on the scene to become an omnipresent reminder that you too could own your very own portable video game system. As a character, Game Boy brought little to the table, managing to do nothing but perhaps add some chorine to a pool of characters that was shallow to begin with.

Upon reflection, I can see why I stayed with Zelda pretty faithfully, and after the first season of Captain N, only kept watching for lack of something better to do on Saturday mornings. I was finally old enough to look beyond the novelty of a cartoon show and see that sometimes weaknesses can overtake the enjoyment. I was starting to watch television through something other than a child's eyes. I needed something more appealing than a concept and cheap writing.

Now, I tied these two separate shows together into one piece for more reasons than similar content -- we get some crossover! In the third season of Captain N, Link and Zelda are introduced to the Saturday morning series as the world of Hyrule is brought into play in the greater scope of Videoland. Sadly, taking the better product and placing it in the context of the weaker one doesn't accomplish anything except cheapening Link and Zelda's characters. They're voiced by the same actors and played roughly in the same way, even though the tone of the writing is obviously different, and Link -- on his own an accomplished and enjoyable hero -- is suddenly playing second fiddle to Captain N, which simply doesn't sit well with me. It's like saying that light beer -- any of them -- is superior to drinking nice, robust ale. The only thing that works for me is that the already oddly attractive animated Princess Zelda gets her own John Hughes makeover. I bet that after the show, the Princesses Lana and Zelda go to the local mall in their midriffs to try on dangly earrings before meeting Link and Kevin over at the Orange Julius. It's a good time. Don't you wish you were popular?

So the rule of thumb here -- if you're going to make a cartoon adaptation of a video game, you'll be best served by sticking to the plots and characterizations that have already been laid out by said game. There was a reason that your source material was so popular, right? There's no need to reinvent the wheel. Unless, of course, you'd like to get Princess Lana a better haircut and smaller shoulder pads.