Most times I will write one of these, and it will be all about some funny old comic or character. I'll take the piss out of a good old comic and point out some of the funnier aspects of it, all in good fun. Because I do love them. Each and every comic I mock I adore. I just also laugh at them with love.

The thing is, mind, that they take research. I don't have tons of Silver Age books around here, you know. Oddly, I've read many of them before; I just don't have them here. I've known folk who owned the books or have seen other collections and what not. Yet when it comes time to do these, I often have to go and grab a collection so I can make sure of what I'm saying.

Well, TFNHQ (“the footnote Headquarters”) hasn't paid for a ton of research (ed. note: We've paid for none of it! -Dustin). I'm just saying that there are four volumes of Essential Avengers, two or three Essential Fantastic Four collections, at least one, maybe two Essential Iron Fist books, and JLA, Superman Family, and Aquaman Showcase collections that I don't have.

Me? No have. Nope. Now I do have some research in that I haven't used yet, that'll happen soon, but still! All I ask is that someone buy me cheap old comics.

I'm getting off point, I fear.

I thought that for a change I would look at current comics. Not any one thing in particular, mind you, but just a broad overview of the current state of the two “big” comic companies: Marvel and DC. A glancing blow, if you would.

DC first!

Company summary: Christ, I'm a continuity whore as much as the next obsessive compulsive, but enough is enough!

What I really think: After Infinite Crisis, DC did a whole leap "One Year Later," and now we're a year past that experiment. 52, the first successful weekly comic, is done, and it's time to move on and really settle into the universe they've left for us.

Except they can't seem to do that.

We're now getting Countdown, a new weekly series that promises to act as the spine of the DCU. What that really means, it would seem, is pages of books that belonged in their own damn book showing up without explanation in Countdown instead. Well, I guess that's one way to make sure people read it and everything else you publish.

Come on! They relaunched Justice League of America and Justice Society of America, the two top team books they have. JSA, the team whose goal it is to train the new generation of heroes by using the first generation of heroes is a fun, if brutal and overly brutal, book. JLA, you know the one with Superman and Batman and everyone, is a mess of 70s comic love porn. Not literal porn, not yet, but still. If you don't have a good understanding of the characters you won't really get it here.

What you'll get is a glossing over of overwriting that tries to explain the characters but really doesn't care at all. It expects you to know them. Not the way to relaunch your major team book.

Then they cross them over. And involve a third team. Well now, the very first JLA/JSA crossover way back in the 60's had the two teams join up to find the Seven Soldiers of Victory. This time it is seven members of the Legion of Super-Heroes. You see what I mean about continuity porn?

It gets worse, and yes I'll get back to that missing pages thing, I promise.

When they wanted to use the Legion, did they use the current version they're publishing? Nope. They used a version steeped in history and not seen in continuity since the 80s. Well fine, except they also have Superman remembering them. In ways that make other, more recent stories that are also remembered totally impossible, because they hinged on different continuity. You understand the headache yet?

Worse yet, though they are doing the whole Seven Soldiers of Victory riff, they are also riffing on the death of Lightning Lad story from the very, very old Legion stories. Why? There is no reason except that the writers want to show how much they adore those old comics and write love letters to them in crayon.

And here are the missing pages: In an issue of JLA the Karate Kid (not the Ralph Macchio, shush) fights Batman. Most of the scene happens off camera. A month later in Countdown there are pages that, randomly and with no explanation, show that scene.

Well, they say Karate Kid will be important to Countdown. All right. But it was just dropped there, and if you weren't reading JLA and JSA, you wouldn't know where that shit came from.

That, in a nutshell, is my problem with DC today. It all hinges on every little thing they've ever done. One part of me loves it, you understand, since I get every reference. But most of me hates it because it isn't telling a cool story, it's retelling a decent story in the same way and glossing it to make it seem new and cool. And as a writer, that stings a bit.

Marvel is up.

Company summary: Which side are you on? Both. Which is bad since you're editorial.

What I really think: Don't worry; this will be shorter. My main issue right now at Marvel is that they have big event after big event (like DC), and while they aren't being slavish continuity whores, they are making the other problem. No real consistency.

It is a problem in its own right.

And yet there are writers who can walk that line with ease and grace: Ed Brubaker, Matt Fraction, Grant Morrison, Mark Waid, Greg Rucka. There are others, but I'm tired. The point is that there is a line to be drawn, and you can't stray too far from it. You need enough consistency so that if Character A shows up in Book 1 he reads like Character A. Does he need to reference what happened 17 years ago in Book 2? Of course not! But he has to be the same damn character he was last month, unless there's a reason for the change.

Both companies are falling on different sides of this line right now. Give it five years, and they'll reverse the sides, of course.

So what am I saying?

I think, in the end, I'm saying if you want great superhero comics, you have to pick very carefully. Very Carefully. More so than ever, I'd argue.

Next time I do this, though, I think I want to discuss some non-spandex shit, because there are some wonderful options out there.

And also, if you have a comic you would like me to talk about here, or somewhere, email me: let me know. I'll review shit. I'll discuss it. I'll talk to you. Let's think about comics as an entertainment and art form.

And you know, buy me some more Essentials, 'cause them shits is good.